Augment Yourself With Technology
By Adam Sinicki
With all these exciting transhuman technologies just around the corner that you'll be able to fix on to your limbs for extra strength and your brain for extra smartness, it got me thinking of ways you could currently augment yourself with technology available. What selection of items will give you an edge over your peers and make you more powerful in a variety of settings? I realised I do it all the time, and at any one time I'm kitted out like Bond or Batman. So I compiled a list here for your own use - and it includes everything that you can carry or swallow that will give you a temporary boost or greater connectivity and memory. You'd probably never want to carry all this stuff, but if you did... you'd practically be Iron Man. Here goes.
iPhone - A controversial start perhaps but with an iPhone in your pocket you have constant 3g Internet access, satellite navigation, a camera and thousands of useful utilities. I've taken mine a step further - by downloading an FTP programme that allows me to access the Biomatrix.Net on the move giving me access to any of my articles whenever and wherever I need them. Even better you can now sync it with your lap top to give it access to the same 3G internet connection. Settle any pub debate, find out where the hell you are, find out where the nearest petrol station is, or download schematics for how to disarm that bomb... I call mine 'The Communications Deck'.
PDA - While the iPhone has many functions it's still lacking in some departments: blue tooth, compatibility, qwerty keyboard... so taking a PDA along too will really kit you out. Mine lets me change the station on almost any TV or device. Great for annoying people in pubs (a noble, noble aim). Hands-free Kit - To allow you to multitask and run that business meeting while fighting evil doers.
Memory Pen - A memory pen is a highly useful tool for tool for transferring data or carrying large amounts of work with you in your pocket. Theoretically could be used to steal information from a high security PC 'Mission Impossible Style'. I call mine 'The Shard'.
Biofeedback - Biofeedback is a device such as a heart monitor that allows you to keep an eye on your own functioning. By learning how relaxation/exercise affects you you can then induce the desired state giving you more control over your own internal functioning.
Dictaphone - Like carrying a wire, record notes and conversations for posterity or future use.
The 'Spy' Ear - These devices allow you to hear normally inaudible sounds allowing you to listen to the whirring of machines and conversations in rooms nowhere near your house. The good news is you can buy kids' versions for not much money at all! Just type in 'Spy Ear'. Combined with the Dictaphone it's great for long range surveillance.
Bugging Device - You can get bugging devices fairly cheaply from e-bay allowing you to listen to conversations even further away than you could with the crick ear.
Binoculars/Microscope - You've enhanced your hearing now enhance your vision for both long range and short range. If you're wealthy you can even purchase night vision goggles these days.
Mirror - Carrying a mirror a) allows you to check on yourself and b) allows you to check behind you subtly without turning. It can also be used as a long range signalling device.
Lock Pick Set - For an all access pass into... most places.
Grappling Hook - For getting on to roof tops and other hard to access areas.
String/Rope - Always comes in handy.
Springbak Speedsoles - To make you lighter on your feet, faster and with a higher jumping height. Even better when combined with...
Springboost B-Trains - The best trainers I've found so far, they train your calves but also increase that spring in your step and you speed via the inclusion of a 'power plate' designed to improve the biomechanics of your stride.
The Champion Compression Performance Garments - A skin tight lycra suit for your upper and lower body for increased lightness, ventilation and aero dynamics.
Height Increasing Insoles - Not to be worn for occasions when you need to run quickly (though you can carry them around and slip them in and out with eas), but these will make you subtly 2-3 inches taller giving you a slight edge in certain situations.
Power Risers - Again these aren't for all occasions, but for certain 'missions' power risers are currently one of the most transhumanist-esque examples of human augmentation on the market. Run at 35 miles an hour, flip over cars and fences and stand a good two foot taller.
Watch - A chronometer will make sure you're constantly aware of the time.
Kabutan - The kabutan is a weapon small enough to fit on a key ring that can be used as a knuckle duster and to apply a series of painful locks and holds.
Pen Knife - Need a knife? Check. Scissors? Check. A pen? Check. A torch? Check. A tiny kind of saw thing? Check. Chopsticks? Anyone? You get the idea.
Nitric Oxide - Nitric Oxide counts as augmentation due to its fast acting nature (whereas say protein shake involves an investment of time). Popping a pill will make you instantly appear bigger and more ripped and at the same time will allow more blood to flow through your veins supplying your body with more oxygen and nutrients.
Vitamin B6, guarana, caffeine and raisins - My own energy stack, works better than an energy drink with vitamin B6 helping you to extract the energy from carbs (which you'll get in the raisins) and caffeine and guarana acting as stimulants that will also enhance your concentration and memory. Much like...
Piracetan - Also marketed as Nootropil, a highly effective nootropic or smart drug that also acts instantly.
So with that little lot in your pocket you've improve your strength, speed, energy, intelligence, connectivity, data storage, defence and surveillance. You're a one man ministry of defence; the most transhumant you can currently be without surgery. Your not quite the Million Dollar Man, but maybe the Two Thousand Dollar Man which is something. Oh and always carry a fiver on you...
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