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Home Articles Reviews Videos App Store Book Shop Forum How to Pursuade Anyone By Adam Sinicki Being able to successfully persuade anybody is a skill that is highly treasured and one that can create countless opportunities in your life. If you can persuade someone to agree with you on anything (well not anything) then you can pretty much all get whatever you want out of life – it's all there for the taking. Can't always get what you want eh Mik Jagger? Shows what you know... For example the power of persuasion could help you to ace an interview – by persuading the interviewer that you're the guy they need for the job. Similarly if you want to sell something – either door to door sales or by writing a transcript to convince people to buy your products then the ability to persuade is the difference between lots of people buying that product or you losing them after the first line. Of course it's also useful for persuading members of the opposite sex that you rock. And of course it's a form of psychological warfare and all about getting inside the head of the person reading or listening, so it's just perfect for Bioneers. There are many different books and articles on how to persuade and lots of different theories on the matter. The great thing is that some of these actual work, and I've been kind of disappointed at the IQ of the general public by discovering that more people buy or read my stuff when I use these techniques. So here they are, some of the most powerful ways to convince people and bring them around to your way of thinking. Engage Them: Right away you need to capture their attention and engage them in what you want to tell them. This means opening with an immediate description of what you are going to do, or it means talking about something they are interested in and can relate to. Open with a line that will interest the maximum number of people, or target a line towards your specific audience and keep it brief and bold. Sometimes hitting them with a controversial or shocking statement can be a good way to get them to listen/read on. Tell Them What They Want to Hear: When you are attempting to persuade someone you need to think about what they want to hear and to tell them that. You then fit your pitch to suit what they already wanted to hear and then try to explain any discrepancies that don't fit with their expectations. To work this out think about what you know about them, what kind of person they are, what brought you together etc. Build Rapport: In NLP AKA Neuro Linguistic Programming, this is one of the most often talked about techniques for persuasion and sales and it's used a lot by pick up artists too. Essentially by building a rapport with someone you can get past their mental defences and get them to like you and to open up to you. This is a highly subtle process and takes a bit of practice but essentially involves mimicking the target as we are designed to feel fondly to those similar to ourselves. To achieve this then try subtly copying their body language – leaning back when they lean back for instance, or copying their hand positions. If you do this gently it should feel quite natural. Once you have gotten into a pattern though, it's not time to try leading that rapport – so when you change your position they should follow. If it works you've just made them much more agreeable and susceptible. Another way you can make someone more agreeable is to set a precedent and a pattern by getting them to agree with you on other points. Ask them three questions to which the answer is yes, and this will then make it very difficult for them to say no when you ask them the next question. It's just basic psychology. Let Them Fill the Gaps: Changing someone's mind against their will is night impossible – even if you have compelling evidence. People don't like to be proven wrong and most of us put up 'barriers' to protect our opinion. Thus you need to help them subtly without them realising they are bending to your will. So don't attack them with your point of view or attack their opinion, but instead ask them if they had considered certain things. Sew the seeds of doubt and then get them to ask more questions of their current beliefs – the questions that will bring them around to your point of view. In the best case scenario they will think they came up with the idea – much like Inception. Let Them Persuade You: Another way to help break down those barriers is to let your target think they are also persuading you. Let them think it's a two way process and don't come across as set in your ways – if you can meet in the middle they'll be far more willing to change their views. Bear in mind that you don't actually have to give in, just appear as though you have. Pride has no place in the art of persuasion. Disguise Your Motives: If someone suspects you are trying to change their opinion or influence a decision then up goes that warning alarm. Try to make it seem like you have honourable intentions and as though you're not trying to change their opinion but rather inform them of important facts, or just enter into an interesting dialogue. You also need to come across as trustworthy to make sure your listener/reader lends some weight to what you're saying and doesn't think you a conman. The best way to achieve this surprisingly is with a firm handshake (the article is on this site peeps!) but there are more methods besides. Flattery Will Get You Somewhere: People respond very well to flattery, and this helps you to get people to warm to you and to warm to an idea. For instance then if you want to sell a coat tell them they have a great complexion – and that it would go well with the colour of your coat. Don't tell them they look shit and need your coat to cover their shit looks up as they'll get defensive. Another great aspect of this strategy is that it shows the person you are impressed with them, and that then leads them to want to impress you more and try not to fall out of your good graces. They'll impress you by agreeing with you. Be Personal: If you are selling something, or entering into a debate, then always make sure that you get that person's name. This makes them feel like you're addressing them personally and we are hardwired to pay more attention when we hear our name. If you are writing something though or giving a speech, make sure you use 'YOU' (in capital letters) an awful lot to wake them up. Be Gradual: In the famous obedience study by Milgram, subjects were 'tricked' into delivering what they believed to be lethal electric shocks to other participants. There were several ways this was achieved, but a key one was by gradually increasing the shock. If they asked them to deliver 100 volts right away they'd have said no – but if they were just asked to used 5 more then what harm could it do? In sales this is often called the 'foot in the door technique' – get them to agree a little and then gradually increase what you're asking of them. Like Mr Wolf creeping forward when their back is turned... Appeal to Authorities: There was another reason the Milgram study worked too – and that was that the participants were being told to deliver the shocks by researchers in lab coats. In other words – authority figures. Sadly a lot of the general public will do pretty much whatever they're asked as long as an authority figure says it (the reality is that there is no higher authority than yourself – but that's a point for another day). If you can make yourself seem like an authority 'Hi, I'm Dr Medicine with my new supplement for YOU', or appeal to one 'Barack Obama wants you to eat HONEY BITES!' then you'll greatly increase the power of your message. Build On Facts: Likewise you should build on facts and statistics which we also grant too much weight (the smart know that it is very easy to manipulate facts '100% said they loved these new batteries... because I only asked my Mum'). What you can do then is to build from one irrefutable fact to another and create a logical connection so that your argument appears to be founded in truth. For instance: Brockerly is green – Brockerly is nice – Grass is green – So a snack made from grass must taste nice. It pulls the wool over people's eyes and works a surprising amount! Be Likeable: One of the strongest human urges is to want to be liked – and that's particularly true if we like the other person. If you come across as genuine, honest and likeable by smiling a lot and being polite, then people will feel obligated to be nice back... by agreeing with you. Don't come across as sleazy though – that's counter-intuitive. Be Confident: Also you want to make sure you come across as confident. This way you will seem confident in your idea and certain of what you're suggesting and that will make the idea seem more like a good one. If you're not confident in what you're saying then why should they be? Likewise try and come across as impressive and successful. This way people will want to be like you and they will assume that they can do so by taking on some of your view points. You want to come across as charismatic and alpha male (or female) and then the person listening will start trying to imitate you – including your ideals. Primacy and Recency: Primacy and Recency is a psychological effect that states that we best remember things we hear at the start of a dialogue and at the end and it's been backed up in many studies. So in the middle of your speech you're going to qualify what you say, explain it and add all the impressive facts and endorsements, but the real message you want them to remember should be stated at the start of the conversation and reiterated at the end. People also remember things better if there's an emotional charge to it, so see if you can evoke some kind of response whether it's anger, disbelief or happiness. Hold Your Cards: The second person should now be trying to nervously impress you and guess what you are trying to accomplish. Likewise they'll be trying to negotiate and will be talking to fire back at you. But once you've said your piece – you stay silent. It's an old sales technique but it' s generally true that the first to talk will lose a negotiation. They'll feel uncomfortable and awkward in the silence and they'll speak to try and fill it – and will probably say something you want to hear like 'okay, 50% off...'.  Copyright 2012 The Biomatrix.Net

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