As a site that focusses on training to improve performance, with emphasis on bodybuilding, the Biomatrix.net is often very positive about taking up a training programme. But like any good journalist knows it's important to give a balanced view and so I present you with all the negative aspects of training. And then hit you with the good stuff again - no one likes a whiner and I wouldn't want to end on a bum note.
What I don’t like about training:
I always forget which locker I put my stuff in
The naked guys in the changing rooms
Having twice as much washing because my boxers and t-shirts get soaked in sweat
Being achey and tired
Having to workout when I feel shite
Having to workout when I want one more go on Halo 3
People thinking they can punch me in the stomach as hard as they like and it won’t hurt - monsters have feelings too!
My ego making me let people punch me in the stomach as hard as they like even though it hurts and maybe makes me vomit a little
Everyone wanting to arm-wrestle me even though I have a bad wrist
Accidentally breaking stuff when I’m angry
The cost of training supplements, gym membership, training equipment etc
Girls who go ‘eewwww gross!!!’
Accusations of steroid abuse
Having to pass up on a second choc-chip cookie
Being the first guy asked to lift heavy things. Just because I can lift heavy things does not mean I wish to do it all the time
E-mails from my website from crazy people
Wankers who say ‘I used to look like you’ - no you didn’t!
Being made to take my top off at parties... ah okay I sort of like that one...
People asking for training routines and advice and then not doing it... Si
Not being able to scratch my back even a little bit
Being introduced like so: ‘This is Adam - look at his biceps!’. That’s not all I’m good for dammit!
People assuming you must be dumb and vein - I am only vein!
People trying to prove themselves by attacking you verbally
Not being able to afford the amount of food I need to eat
Being thirsty all the time
When people don’t know what to say so they try to make conversation by asking how much you bench.
What I do like about training:
Winning at sports, events and activities that I don’t really understand and wouldn't stand a chance at otherwise
Being able to do cool party tricks like walking on my hands and opening tuna caps with one hand
Gaining automatic respect, at least until they get to know me
Taking my top off as a last resort attempt to pull
Being (marginaly for a man of my stature and grinny nature) more imposing
Having my own website
Once being the subject of a University media studies student's dissertation project and being followed around school and the gym by cameras
E-mails from my website from attractive people. Especially the naked ones.
Giving awesome dead arms
Winning fights, occasionally
Never struggling with a jam jar (also helpful that I don’t really eat jam)
Being able to climb stuff
Relaxing after a workout with numb limbs and a rush of hormones
Being able to push people over
Having lots of energy
Being able to eat much more meat!
Being called ‘big guy’ (despite the afformentioned slight stature) and ‘Arnie’
Catching myself in the mirror and think damn
The camaraderie in the gym
Being able to think 'if I met Batman, we'd have stuff in common'
Being a member of the Iron Brotherhood. Come on, how cool is that?
